Learning to lead

Now that I am back in my main placement, I have been looking back at my time in my Dyad and have noticed some differences about how the kids are learning.

The kids at my main school are fantastic at group work.  They seem to really enjoy doing collaborative tasks.  I have seen these kids on many occasions lead their own own group work.  I believe this is a function of having been given this responsibility throughout the years in their schooling.  With only one teacher in the room, this has been an imperative that they can function on their own.

However, I have also seen these same kids very reluctant to drop this independence and raise their hands to ask for help when they are unsure of something.  It is great that they have been given the sense of empowerment that they can do things on their own without the teachers help at all times, but it almost seems to me that they will attempt to struggle on through until I see them stuck and come to help, when they could ask sooner.

Back at my Dyad placement school, things were quite the reverse.  It was a parent cooperative, and there were always adults around to help the kids.  The kids were used to having help at their disposal and were quick to ask for it.  They often did so before they thoroughly attempted to solve a problem on their own.

The main thing that stuck out for me between the two classrooms, as far as the kids go, was the lack of ability of my Dyad kids to function in a group on their own.  My cooperating teacher and I talked about it.  I wonder if the fact that the parent volunteers run all of the small group activities has taken away some of their ability to lead themselves.  It is harder for them to do because they have never had to learn how.

I'm not sure if I feel that one way is better than another, but it's interesting to see how the different school models may be affecting how kids learn.

This made me happy

I invested a lot of time in creating my Thematic Mini Unit.  Man did I ever.  But pouring so much of my imagination and creativity into the project produced something that was fun to read, but boring as all get out to look at.  Writing can be like that sometimes.  Black and white text just isn't visually stimulating.

So I loaded up the Thematic Unit section into Tagxedo.  It's like Wordle, but with lot's of fun shapes.  Here's what came up.  It's a satisfying visual for all my hard work.  I may have even smiled a bit.

It's like heartbreak & puppies.

I moved on from my Dyad placement kids this past week.  It sucks.  It's like losing 25 tiny little adorable friends, and it hurts.

Is this what it will be like every year?  Unless you are in a looped classroom, in which case you get a one year reprieve followed by twice the pain and heartache the next.  Now I know how those who foster puppies must feel: you welcome a bunch of sweet, innocent, little creatures into your life.  You nurture them, and teach them, and watch them grow and mature, then you give them an awkward hug or pat on the shoulder as they walk away from you forever.

To be fair, it was me doing the walking away this time, but the feeling is still the same.  I was wondering how I would feel when this day came.  I have talked with other educators about it, and they have told me it is a difficult part of the profession.  It's a tough feeling.  The only way I have to describe it is that it reminds me of that gut-wrenching feeling of stark panic I get when my mind flash-forwards 16 years and I hear my about-to-graduate-high-school son springing on me his epiphany to "skip college and live in South America", his time-table for return: unknown.

Not that the image of my son (quite strapping at that age, btw) tromping around the wilds of the Amazon frightens me, it is the sense of loss that tears at my heart.  We will be pouring so much of ourselves into these students of ours, it's painful to think about them moving on from us.

I was okay when I parted from my main placement kids the first time around.  I think deep down I knew I would be coming back.  It was easy to be that stolid, rock of a teacher.  After this experience with my 3rd graders, knowing them for only a short time, I begin to question if I will be able to keep up that facade when forced to say goodbye to my fifth graders.  They will be my first true classroom.  I will be spending so many wonderful upcoming days with them, getting to know them so well, helping them to reach for greater heights.

But that's the point isn't it;  in order for them to go after that brilliant future we have been painstakingly preparing them for, we have to let them go.

Manipulation

I've been on this math manipulative kick lately.

Funny thing is, I used to hate them.  I am a product of numbers-only curriculum.  Most of us probably are.  If we didn't get a math concept as kids, we did 100 more problems until we did.  If we still didn't get it, the teacher explained it louder in hopes that we would.  Naturally I was skeptical of any little toy, widget, or cog that was supposed to explain math.  I knew math as a series of numbers and rules; rigid, strict and to be followed without fail.

Flash forward, like, 50 years.  I get how to do that old-skool math, but I am falling in love with those silly little plastic strips and poker chips.  As you all know, my adult self is All About The Process.  I love the idea of getting my hands "dirty" while learning, and want to share this with my students.  I will do this with those in my classroom.  I want them to actively act like mathematicians while doing math.  Manipulatives give me a way to get them elbow deep in mathematics.

That's right; Mr. K's kids will literally be up to their elbows in math.  Getting physical with our numbers.  Kinesthetic cognition at it's finest.

Numbers aren't what math is all about for me anymore.  Sure, they get the short term job done, but in the long run I feel like I have run into problems because just knowing the numbers and rules have let me down.  At some point they fall short.  I was never taught to seek out those patterns that I could transfer over to suit my needs.  Inevitably you end up stuck and your "rules" falter.  There is nowhere for you to go but discourageville.

Discourageville is a sad and dirty little place that I don't want my students visiting.

If by shifting around poker chips for an hour kids can unlock the mystery of a function of mathematics, then it is time well spent.  Yet, from my observations, those poor little cubes and slats and cards only seem to see that light of day when a child is struggling.  I don't get this.  It seems a natural progression to use them to introduce elements of math in order to show concepts, then move onto the numbers.

Why only bring them in to try to "save a child" when their early use could have prevented the crisis in the first place?

Can we get some tech up in here?

I attended my first parent-teacher conference today.  It was pretty cool.

Since I really have no idea how to run one of those things, it was nice to get some ideas on how I can structure the 20 minutes, what student artifacts to use, what to say, and what to ask.

Actually, the superintendent of the district was in my first set parents.  Not that it really mattered, being as I was just observing, but still.  He commented that his daughter "really seemed to be enjoying school this year, but that she had said something about not liking the intern", then he gave me a wry smile and chuckled.  Even knowing he was joking, I still almost peed my pants.

The experience of the conferences was great, but it got me thinking - with all of the technology we have available, why do we need to schedule a meeting to see our student's parents?  Samples of the kid's work could be available online, and any concerns about that work could be voiced by email, Skype, text, cell, etc.

If the whole point of the meetings, as it looked to me, was to see samples of work and use it to talk about strengths or what needs work, then it could have been done in another, more efficient way.  Through technology it could also have happened much sooner, rather than waiting several months into the school year to have an in-depth progress report.

But how would we balance that with the benefit of face to face communication?  I certainly don't want the impersonal robot conference from my earlier post, but we have far, far too much digital assistance at our disposal to be doing things the same old way.

Thoughts?

Overwhelmed & underwater

Blogging seems to have lost all of it's joy for me.

I try to think of deep and thought provoking, or clever and witty things to say about my experiences.  I know they are there, I build upon them almost everyday, but I cannot dredge them up from underneath the layer of mind-numbing coursework-related silt that sits on top of them.

Above said silt runs a fast moving stream of being a husband to a wife I never see (ships passing in the night) and a father to a 2 1/2 year old child with a severe CHD, for whom I will gladly sacrifice writing a lesson plan in order to have a fabulously deejayed dance party, or rush emergency vehicles to every crisis he can imagine.

Whereas I used to work ahead, I am now struggling to barely get by.  Sacrificing reading for one class in order to find time to do work for another.  Being acceptable when I want to be great.

There are now becoming times when I wonder if I can keep this up.  Can I really do this?  I feel overwhelmed and am struggling to tread water in my metaphorical river - trying not to slip underneath the surface.  Sometimes you all see me sigh deeply.  More than anything it is to remind myself I am still breathing and not underwater yet.

I know from speaking with others that many of us are feeling the same way (perhaps no where near as dramatic, but the same nonetheless).  Situations may be slightly different, but we are still at that same murky point.

In a recent reading I found a passage that has reminded me of why I am going through all of this struggle now, and why I will continue to struggle on in the future.  Of why it's worth all of the trials and frustration to become an educator.

Because being a teacher is what I was meant to do, and it's the best job ever.  

It's certainly not a cure-all, but the following words have given me a measure of composure and courage with which to carry on.  I hope they can do the same for anyone else out there who is in need.  Keep up the good fight.

"Sometimes I am totally baffled at the idea that I get paid to read great books with kids; help them write poetry (poetry, I tell you!); benefit from their honest, funny, youthful outlook every day; and then go to bed knowing I've at least approached doing something meaningful in the world. There are approximately two-and-a-half professions like that on the entire planet."

-Dina Strasser

I know, I promised no more talk about robots

"Bringing good teachers to places where good teachers won't go". - Sugata Mitra

Doesn't this sound eerily familiar?  As in, like, Teach For America eerily familiar?  Now, granted, in his TED Talk video Mr. Mitra is speaking of literally bringing educators to the back streets of New Delhi, but the overarching implications for those of us in the educator world is the same. 

I'm all for rapidly bringing teachers into areas where there is a shortage.  My concern is the same one I have with TFA.  How long before the teacher streamed by video into classrooms is seen as a viable alternative to the current educators already in place? In areas in which there is an excess of teachers? 

Computers are cheaper than health benefits.  Computer unions never demand a cost of living pay increase.  Sure, once Skynet comes online the computers will try to kill and enslave us (Google it), but until then streaming an educator into classrooms does have a nice ring to it as the potential solution to our country's education budget crisis.

Mitra does makes some good points.  Technology has empowered our kids to do some amazing learning.  I agree wholeheartedly that "if children have interest, then education happens"; but telling me that "children will learn to do things on computers on their own"?  Well.....duh.

With all due respect Mr. Mitra, there's a reason I go to my 16 and 10 year old nephews for tech advice: kids know things about computers because they play with them.  They tinker with a reckless abandon that only comes with being born into the digital age.  They don't fear them like the rest of us (which is also exactly why we will resist our new computer overlords while they will bow down to them).

This technology could change the world.  Let's just hope it is not at the expense of giving our kids a living, breathing teacher in the room.  There is more to life than learning how to use the interwebs and translate a google doc.  There is a subtlety and nuance to being alive that kids learn through mentorship and interaction with other human beings.  Life is best learned from the living.

Otherwise you get this for your parent teacher conference...

P C & A 2.0 coming soon!

It would seem I have matured some since I began this blog oh so very long ago.  Gone are the days of school girl crushes and robotic dinosaurs bringing peace to the land.  Sure, we will all long for those halcyon days of the past, but now it is time to move on.  We have important work to do as educators!

Soon there will be new and exciting postings to exceed, or at the very least match, the shiny new look of the blog.  Don't fret, I will always be prone to whimsy and random flights of fancy.  However now that I am actually getting to try my hand at teaching, I have heavy, meaty things to discuss.

Stay tuned.

Food, I wish I could quit you

*Food Journal Reflection*

For my Health and Fitness course this quarter we kept to keep a food/ activity journal.  I had never done this before and was not entirely sure how it would go.  I am fully aware that I do not have the best dietary habits and have not been nearly as physically active as I used to be.  It’s been a project of mine to slowly get those two elements to a point where I want them to be before I go into the classroom this autumn. 

Overall I learned that my eating habits, while not good, are not nearly as bad as I thought they would be.  I definitely need to eat more vegetables, but I eat more fruit than I thought, so my number of servings per day in that category is not as deficient as I had assumed. 

Even with the use of the campus gym, my activity level is lower than I would like.  My exercise time often gets hijacked by the need to read for class, and when that is finally done each day, it is late and I need to get to bed. 

I think I am fairly realistic model for my future students; not all of my habits are perfect, but I have identified some areas to work on and am striving to make those healthy changes.  It lets them know that no matter what their starting point, they can set some goals and work to better their habits and gain and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

Speaking of goals, after the first week I noticed I had eaten very little in the way of fruits or veggies.  I decided to try to change that for week two.  I started bringing fruit for snacks before and during class, and tried to do some increased cooking for dinner using the vegetables ripening in our garden.  It really just ended up being me eating a lot of carrots and kale, but I suppose it still counts.  My biggest obstacle was on the supply side.  I am pretty lazy about shopping and will just eat what I have on hand.  For me this is a bigger habit that needs changing than the actual diet; making sure to keep the elements of a healthy diet around. 

I set a simple and attainable goal for myself; one that I felt I could reasonably reach.  Kids need to know that it is okay to not always start out reaching for the sky when it comes to goals.  Start small, win big.

Even if there was not time to teach health, kids could still keep a food journal on their own.  It is an easy way to get more understanding of what they eat and could motivate them to pay more attention to food labels.  That new interest in food labels could be turned into studies of percentages and/ or what certain chemicals do in the body, possibly leading to letters to grocery store about the dangers of their deceptive product placement, etc.

Coincidentally appropriate

Today was one of those rare days in which our reading material was illustrated for us first hand.  One of our sources discussed the negative effects that stress has on the brain and our abilities to learn.  Our "break" today left me extremely stressed and tense, and I truly was unable to focus-in and pay much attention during our afternoon class; it was hampering my desire to learn.

Looky there, living proof that not feeling comfortable and being stressed can affect your student's ability to learn and desire to participate in class.

Like the scrambled up brain-science reading example said:  "it's amaznig!"

Ladies, all the ladies, louder now, help me out

Things I learned in class today, part 7: Sex Education

Apparently, "circumcised" and "of a certain size" sound very similar.  Also, the musical stylings of George Michael and Salt 'n' Pepa (google it) did not prepare me to teach sex education nearly as much as I thought they did.

Mostly I learned that even current teachers who's lesson plans are light years ahead of mine still search for a way to make them better, a way to find that missing piece that allows their material to click in with the kids.  For me it was not only reassuring, but inspiring.  I felt very fortunate to get to see an in-service k-8 educator plying his trade right in front of my eyes, going through the same thought processes to develop a lesson plan that we did, and kind enough to narrate them for us as he went.

It raised questions for me about teaching style, teaching methods, and how to deal with your objectives and the state standards.  Our instructors give us the raw basics and most of the tools, but we never really know how to use them.  That is why I thought seeing an educator put them to use and grapple with things first hand was so cool.

Yuck! (tm)

Oh, dear me.  My son is very adventurous, and he has a new found love for candy.  Relevance? you ask. Well, he enjoys pulling over a stool or chair to climb up on to the kitchen counter and get into the cupboards where his new favorite treat resides.  I have requested that he not do this, alas he is a free spirit and cannot be contained!  Actually, he is a very stable climber, so it's not the counter that makes me worry.  It is that he could certainly do this in the bathroom cabinets as well, where the medicines are.

Another thing about my son; he has been taking medication since he was born, so pills are normalcy to him.  They don't scare him in the least, he takes them with relish (no, not literally the condiment, he doesn't seem to like the taste- which is strange because he loves pickles).  I am pretty sure that I have instilled in him the belief that medicines should only be dispersed by his mother or me, yet he is only 2 1/2 years old and precocious; therefore not to be trusted. 

Again, relevance.  Hold on, I'm getting there.  So our segment today on the Yuck! Box makes me very nervous.  Those pills and candies look waaaaaaay too much alike.  Not that it would matter to my child, who has no aversion to pills.  It is a great eye opener to me that I need to invest some free time (I know, what's that? AmIright?) in Yuck!ing up my house.  Honestly though, I think the super-sweet rave-green Mr. Yuck! stickers would only encourage him to be deviant.  What's a father to do?

I think the Yuck! Box is a great teaching tool for both parents and educators.  Both to alert kids to be careful because medicines are increasingly looking like candy, and to show the deceptive advertising and packaging used by manufacturers (very similar to the cereal aisle).  "Buy our drugs, they're just like candy!"  Our little activity in class today really got me thinking about this.

Mr. Yuck! isn't totally to keep the kids away from stuff.  It also helps serve as a reminder to us parents, or anyone with a vested interest in the safety of children, to not become complacent.

Just do it

I tend to waffle when I am not sure what to do.  It's a failing of mine.  I am sure there are many people out there who are the same.  There is a compulsion I have to sure of a decision before I make it, know all of the details before I act.

My wife works with assault and abuse victims of a regular basis.  Knowing what she does about me, one of the first things she did once I was accepted into this teaching program was to explain to me my future obligations as a mandatory reporter.  The basic gist of it was that it was not my job to gather all the facts- there are people paid to do that- it was my job to report if I had any suspicions at all.  Sure, it may turn out to be awkward, but better to err on the side of caution.  Me feeling silly is a far, far better result than a child being harmed.

So Thursdays presentation on Abuse and reporting was, for better or worse, information I was already privy to.  That being said, it is extremely important stuff to know.  I tend to take a moral and ethic stance when it comes to education, and the problems of abuse run counter to my ideals of community and people having respect for, and being good to one another.

I think we have all learned that it is our duty to report if we have doubts in any situation.  We should all prefer that we potentially experience some awkward moments as opposed to any child being mistreated.

Yeah, I can do that

I came away from today's class with two clear thoughts in mind:  First, teaching the Micro-lesson for first graders left me feeling that although the K-1st sector wasn't really high on my radar, I think I could see myself teaching at those grade levels.  I had a lot of fun with the lesson.

Secondly, and counter to the first idea, I have no idea if I could handle that young of a group of kids every day.  It was all fine and good until you all started asking age appropriate questions for first graders that I had not anticipated (expecting, of course, adult appropriate questions).  I know kids say the darndest things and all, I just didn't expect my students to do so.  Lesson learned.

I will be doing my dyad with younger kids and cannot wait.  I think it will really give me an idea if the early age groups are something that I may want to look at.  There is a certain element of fun involved with the younger kids that gets lost as they age and everything seems to get so serious.  I've never pictured myself as a Kindergarten teacher, but then again, I've never NOT pictured myself as one either.

Hopefully getting some more practice with lesson plans across all the ages will help me find where my true strengths are.

Fear the halo of evil

I guess I haven't done the shopping very much in the past few years.  Or, actually, it is probably more of a case that my family doesn't really eat cereal.  After spending an awkward 20 minutes in that aisle researching, I was blown away to find out just how much sugar was in everything.  Discussing it all in class today, and having one of our Micro-Teaching lessons being all about sugar really brought it to the forefront of my mind.

I suppose that I just assumed the sugary cereals were all geared towards the kids, but I found it was actually much more common for the adults to be targeted.  For every Special K or Corn Chex, there was an encircling "halo of evil" of sweetened and modified versions of those same cereals.  "If you like this, then you'll looooooooove these!"  *Ugh*.  Then to actually see how much sugar 17 grams (the standard for sugary cereals as per my research) is, via the presentation from our classmates, provided stunning evidence that we are not being encouraged to make healthy choices by our nation's food providers.

I have been struggling recently to cut down on my sugar intake to provide a better example for my two year old.  Coming from a man with a sweet tooth, it has been a tough battle.  Delving into this topic a bit further is helping me to find some tools that I can use on myself, and potentially with my future students.  The knowledge of what sugars do to the body and where they come from is great information for teaching .

Objectives and GLEs and EALRs, oh my!

Day two of Health and Fitness helped to clear away some of the mist enshrouding state standards.  It also taught me how complicated it can be to create a legitimate lesson plan.  You'd think it would be more simple, but when it comes down to it there are many required steps and procedures.  It all seems a bit daunting.

At the same time, we finally are getting some hands-on practice with these before mysterious tasks.  Practice, practice, practice.  We'll get there, just keep at it.

I will say that my first experience with the EALRs, components and GLEs has me wondering if they weren't designed by the same government group that writes the federal tax code.  It seems like some sort of cruel game designed to even further complicate the lives of educators.  We'll end up spending so much time trying to decipher the standards that we won't have any left to write good lesson plans to cover those standards. 

Maybe that's just the Bill Ayers in me talking (actually, he's screaming and stamping his feet).  To be fair, it is only day one of working with the standards.  In time I am sure we will have a wonderful working relationship; talk about our families, eat lunch together, maybe even get together outside of the job.  Heck, in time we might even become friends, those standards and me.

We're going to hang out a bit this weekend, wish me luck!

Those brave young souls

I now have a new-found respect for all of those elementary school kids out there. 

Today I sat in one classroom for almost eight straight hours, attempting to stay focused and learn something.  I don't know how they manage.  By two o'clock I was spent.  It's not that I was bored, in fact the subject matter and discussions were most engaging, but even for a full grown adult like me it is really hard to sit still for that long.

This is what we expect our kids to do each day.  Admittedly, I am out of practice being in class for an entire day, but it reminded me just how imperative it is for us to truly engage our students.  As hard as it was for me to do when I was into the subject matter, imagine what it would have been like if I was not. 

We must get our students engaged in learning.  We must energize and vitalize them.  Enliven their souls and propel them to strive for greatness.  If we fail to do so and they must sit there, day in and day out, for eight hours at a time, counting the seconds and wishing, longing, to finally be free - I think we have not done our proper duty as educators.

Increase your abilities

Our class on community and inclusiveness came and went and I forgot all about one of my favorite speakers on the subject of ability. 

Aimee Mullins has overcome many obstacles in her life, but that is not why I find her so interesting.  I like her because she reminds us to look at people for their strengths and what they could be, rather than focusing on any perceived limitations.  As a pioneer in prosthetics design, she has called for artists, engineers, designers, athletes and others to use divergent thinking skills to reinvent the field.  She has taken her perceived disadvantage of having amputated legs and turned it into the advantage of having whatever form of legs she can think of.

She also points out that children are naturally curious and do not have the same fears and stigmas around disabilities as adults do.  It's not until we attach our baggage onto them that they become this way.  A reminder to keep adjusting your lens and be careful what attitudes we bring with us into the classroom.

It serves to show our students all the wonders that people can create when they ignore the limitations put on them and imagine what can be.  Art breeds imagination, which leads to empathy and creates community.

If you have ten minutes, it's worth the watch.

Capsized

We live in a country that has an ethos designed to privilege those who are white, male, middle class, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.  You know the drill.  Yet we keep worrying about those "bossy kids" from Paley's book and how this new rule of "You can't say you can't play" would upset them.  Most of those kids who are in charge are going to be those very same children who have benefited from a system designed for them, by people like them, not to be discussed by anyone and therefore destined to remain.  If an outcast child can be brought into the mainstream at a minor expense to their "fun", then so be it.  Sometimes building a community can be difficult.

We tend to look at kids from different backgrounds, genders, social classes and abilities as needing to be "fixed".  I see it the other way around.  Those of us in a dominant social group have the moral responsibility to look at how we are benefiting from an unfair social structure and in what way we can change ourselves to strive for fairness.  If we are going to ask our kids to "live the way they want the world to be" and be the flag-bearers of change, then they need to learn early that equity takes small sacrifices.  I have a saying with the kids I work with; "it costs you very little, and means the world to them".

One of our colleagues was thinking of ways to try to push for gender equality in their classroom without taking an all-or-nothing stance; a way to "gently rock the boat without sinking the ship".  I think this is a noble idea that goes a long way to try to meet the needs of every child evenly.  I wish it would be this simple.  I might suggest we try something a little more drastic.

For all of these issues of inequality, maybe it isn't enough for us to gently rock that boat. Maybe we need to stand up in the bow, raise our arms and voices and tip the sucker over. That splash of hypothermia inducing water might just be what it takes to wake people up.  I want my kids to know that the status quo of society is not okay.

While it may seem a brutal reality, if kids are indoctrinated into our ideological systems from day one, then they unfortunately are as mired in it as the rest of us. My hope is that they will have the courage to climb, soaking wet, back into the boat with a new perspective on things.  Then maybe we will all be ready to row on into a better future. 

Low tech

A couple of us have been discussing how we plan to use class websites and blogs in our future classrooms to keep parents informed and involved in what is going on.  I am beginning to fully embrace the necessity of technology in the classroom and am becoming more and more excited at its possible applications.  However, as I begin to delve deeper into the benefits of a more digital classroom, I am also uncovering more and more potential pitfalls.  One of the largest of these involves social class.

I would love to have a “wired” classroom with technology being used on-site to research projects, compose creative pieces and numerous other things.  But the class day is short.  Inevitably those tasks will have to be handled outside of school, be it alone or collaboratively.  Therein lies the problem; what do we do when some of our students do not have access to a computer at home? I could definitely see this in issues of poverty especially.  Not only would those kids struggle to meet goals from not having easy access to a computer, they are operating from a deficit skill-wise simply by not being as familiar with the required technology.

Setting aside school time for them to do the work would perhaps solve the problem, but it creates that social hierarchy again of the haves (can do the work at home or use their iPhones, etc.) and the have-nots (must scramble to find time at school or library to do the assignment).  Also, these kids would lack the social capital of know-how and would most likely require added assistance (although simply by being born in the digital generation they may have ingrained abilities that I for one lack).

I'm searching for the answer of how to incorporate a lot of technology based/ creative assignments which will prepare the kids for the increasingly digital “real world”, yet not create stress or social complications for some of my potential students.  I know these types of projects develop the skills needed to succeed in our ever-changing world and I want to ensure that all of my students have equal access to them.

Ties that bind

I wanted to thank you all for sharing your beautiful poems last night.  I feel very grateful and deeply humbled to have been allowed insight into all of your lives if only for a moment, envisioning your thoughts along side you.

It's amazing how the art inspired imagination (Robinson), that led to empathy and an increased sense of community (Greene), the basis of our profession (Buchmann).  I feel like last night we all exposed ourselves through our poetry and began to knit together some of the threads that will make us a great community for one another.

I would love to get to hear your work again.  Time flew by so fast it was hard to process them all.  If you are comfortable with posting them, I'm sure people would love to read them.

Where I Come From

I am from the little house with the metal roof,

          with the drainage ditch on the busy street.

I am from rhubarb, zucchini, pie cherries,

          the stretching dogwood tree with oh so climbable limbs.

Fragile Buddha statues and German beer wagons,

          our Subaru with no seat belts and an old pick-up playing classic rock.

I’m from my father’s workshop,

          where hammer meets thumb with a resounding

               “Son of a…gun!” and “God…blessit!”

I come from my older sisters and me:

          Lazy summers with the Brady’s and “Pork chops and Applesauce”.

          Fights over Barbie’s with no heads.

          The right to get to dance front and center in footed pajamas to the Muppet Show
          theme song.

          The Belt Drawer (hide your fanny!).

I gratefully arise from the 7 Layer Dip, the Taco Pie, and the Ambrosia.
          Alas, I also spring forth from the horrors of Halibut Ragu – eew.

I’m grown from a humble brick patio and long, meandering bike rides with no itinerary left
          behind,

          from Grampa and Gramma and life down on the farm.

My old shoe box full of things I’m not sure why I kept, but am glad I did.

I am from all of these things,
          little puzzle pieces of my big picture,

               then, now and forever.

Sour

My son and I awoke some time today around 6:30am.  While he ate breakfast and played and I sipped my coffee, the morning news discussed the death of Osama Bin Laden ad naseum.

I am as patriotic as the next person, perhaps even more so, yet I just couldn't get over all the images of baseball stadiums and college campuses filled with people standing, cheering, chanting "USA, USA!"  Something about those scenes and actions left a bad taste in my mouth.  It all reminded me of the Wizard of Oz, with the Munchkins prancing around in spectacle singing "ding dong, the witch is dead". 

Unsettling.

As I watched my young son I just kept thinking about how I would someday have to reconcile this dichotomy of purpose with him, as well as my future students; that we strive to build a classroom based on community and compassion, showing our students the value of each and every person - each and every living, breathing, human being - yet we nationally revel in the death of one man, no matter how vile he may have been.

My pantz, zey are on fire

Lately I feel like I am walking around with a miniscule version of Bill Ayers sitting on one shoulder and a little version of Margret Buchmann perched atop the other.  My very own tiny angel and demon, each whispering in my ear. 

As I think of what type of teacher I choose to be and about the issues that lay ahead and how I will deal with them, they speak to me.  Bill shouts things like "weeeeeee!" and "share the love!” while Margret is quick to counter "uh, uh, uh...remember - professionalism".  They travel along with me and provide running commentary on the issues as I begin to "try to save the world", which by the way, is already an exhausting process for me, only after 5 weeks.  No wonder people are still "Waiting for Superman" - he's too tired and beat down from discussing the issues to show up.

MB usually ends up playing the role of the heavy because BA is just too much of a free spirit.  She seems accepting of her "role" (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).  They are really just two sides of the whole, sharing elements of each other.  One is professional via Creativity; the other is creative through Professionalism, sort of Yin and Yang.  I sought their guidance tonight on the way home, again pouring over our recent discussions in my head as my car found its way, somehow, through the dark.

A thought has occurred to me:  By teaching in a manner that emphasizes equality, community, true democracy, love, compassion and empathy; are we failing to prepare our kids for the current world we live in?  Put less eloquently; are we blatantly lying to them?

It seems to me we are trying to teach our kids about the world around them, the ”real world", using idealized techniques that aren't used in common practice on the "outside".  Example:  when my kids want to learn about the issues in our current political system (or social system, or racial system, or gender system) in these United States, I will be using methods based on fairness, equality and community to help my kids learn about corruption, competition and divisiveness.

Obviously we must teach this way because we choose to "see the world for what it can be, rather than what it is", paraphrasing Bill from my right shoulder, and Margret tells me from her opposite perch "that it is in fact in the best interest of the child and therefore based in professionalism", yet I cannot help but feeling like we may be setting them up for a fall.  Be it years down the road, or simply next year in a less progressively taught classroom.

I don't want to betray the trust of my students.  I will choose to teach in this child-centered way we discuss because it is the right thing to do, yet the world works very hard to make a liar out of me.  I feel like it will be difficult to be wholly honest with them without depressing them.  There has to be some ways to do this.  Also, is it too much of a burden for young children to bear to inform them that they are the flag bearers of change and this is why our classroom focuses on ecology, advocacy and democracy?  Those two little gargoyles resting by my ears have gone suddenly silent.  I hope they don't stay that way for too long.

On being an alien

For those of you who don't already know, I am a stay@home dad.  My job during the day is to raise an increasingly precocious two and a half year old little boy.  I am also trying to become an elementary school teacher, a profession commonly associated with females. 

No, nothing is wrong with me.  No, I will not turn in my "man card".  In fact, I think the world would be a far better place if more men were confident enough in themselves to follow their hearts into the k-8 teaching field.  I know you're out there.  Embrace your fear.  Join us in the revolution. *dons Che Guevara beret*

Oh, and there exists nothing more manly on this earth than a good father.

We had a lively discussion tonight on gender.  I could have prattled on all evening.  I love the topic.  Mostly because as I mentioned above, I personally turn several of society's gender norms on their head, and have fun doing it.  I get to have the unique perspective of both the male and the nurturer (and no, I don't have to become a seahorse).  One of the main focal points tonight was for us as educators to take care in preforming the needed self-reflection to avoid bringing our own gender perspectives to bear when viewing our kids.  It is critical that we understand how we feel about and fit into society's gender roles.  But the question was raised as to how we can best do this.  I have a couple of ideas.

I took a Multicultural Communications class earlier this year.  The professor was fond of two sayings:  "Context, context, CONTEXT!" and "Be and alien."  The first reminds us to turn our lens around to that of the people we are involved with, to understand why they are saying what they are saying.  Especially with kids, our contextual, baggage-laden lens may not give us an accurate view of the situation.  Harmless play and normal developmental stages become much more sinister in our adult eyes.

"Being an alien" means to view things as if you have no experience with them, as if you have just arrived here on the planet.  It helps to remove the potential to view different cultures, genders, abilities, etc. from the deficient standpoint that society dictates we should.  I find this especially handy when working with children of various backgrounds, skill levels and physical abilities.  It is very helpful to just let me see the kids for who they are.

These two little reminders/ tricks have served me well.  If while you are volunteering or when we are student teaching you happen to get "stuck", try them out.  I hope they help.

Dinobots! UNITE!!!

This post all relates back to our conversation and in-class journaling from Monday 4/11.  The question was about how we want to approach the subject of culture in our classrooms.  My initial response was that I would want the kids in my class to embrace whatever cultural background they come from, or whichever one they have chosen to associate with.  Yup, so perfectly simple, all nice and tidy.

On the way home that night, I began to ponder the complexities of that answer and the problems it encountered.*  What does this mean for those kids who don't have a strong cultural involvement at home?  What about those kids who are from multiple generation, U.S. born families that originated from an individualistic culture to begin with?  Not valuing culture certainly marginalizes those who celebrate their backgrounds, but does placing too much emphasis on the subject devalue those kids without strong ties to cultural roots?  Is there a culture for them?

It brings up the subject of an "American culture".  Oh, our country’s ideology loves to mention America as the "great melting pot", and that "American culture" is the most amazing collection of cultures in the world.  But, what happens when something melts?  It loses all shape and continuity.  What once held form now is an unintelligible mass.  How about when you melt two separate, unique items?  They meld into one indistinct form.  The base of the Statue of liberty contains a portion of the sonnet The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus: "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free", so that we may boil you down into a form that makes you less distinguished and more like us, completely homogenized.  That is what the "melting pot" means to me.  Suffice it to say, this will not be a part of my classroom.

Since the existing one will not suffice, then how do I create an overlying culture for those kids who do not have a powerful tie to one?  Is it possible to create a "New American Culture"?  What is the starting point for doing so?  Can there be an overarching culture with sub-cultures without stripping those individual parts of their power?

Here is what I have so far, I call it my Dinobots Theory of Culture:  Back in the day of the original Transformers, there was a sub-division of the Autobots known as the Dinobots.  For the purpose of my theory we will have to strip away the hierarchies of Transformer first, Autobot second and Dinobot third and just focus on the latter as it's own independent domain.  Why Dinobots?  Well, I am trying to develop my ideas in terms of things I can explain to kids; using parts of their lives to represent the concepts and teaching from their experiences.  Elementary school kids love both robots and dinosaurs (there is the potential that this will require some reworking for the girls) so I felt this might be a good way to try to express a somewhat abstract idea to them.

The premise is simple.  There were five Dinobots, each on their own a valued member of the team with unique strengths and characteristics.  However, when pressed they could unite into a super robot.  Some members becoming legs, some becoming arms, some becoming parts of head and torso.  All equally important parts of the greater whole, yet still distinct and independent.  Separate but united.

I think this would work on two levels; first that those who do not identify with a particular culture can feel included in something.  It not only gives them a sociocultural group to be part of, but since this "umbrella culture" contains many different pieces, they can feel a part of each smaller unit that makes up the whole.  I hope this sense of belonging will propel them to learn more of these new cultures they are a now connected to.  Second, I think that if there existed a positive connotation to an "American culture", then those with a strong cultural background would be much more inclined to share their heritage, beliefs and values with others knowing they would be appreciated rather than facing attempts to suppress them or meld them into our current system.  It would also give them access to the majority group without feeling like they are sacrificing their culture to do so.

Maybe this is all too deep of a concept to try to get kids to latch on to.  I firmly believe that social change should start early and I am hoping that relating it to them in a contextual way they can understand may help.  I also think that some of our kids (especially the white boys and girls) have never had to think much about how their backgrounds fit into the greater scheme of things and therefore are less inclined to know about other cultures since they don't even identify with one of their own.  Hopefully making them a part of a greater cultural whole, they will want to find out more about the individual pieces.

*By the way, does anyone else think that perhaps it isn't the safest thing to fill our heads full of deep-thinking questions and then proceed to drive out into the dark of night on the highways and byways of the greater Seattle area? 

What's wrong with finger-painting?

Since when did it become the pariah of the art world?  Blaming finger-painting for lack of adequate test scores is like blaming teachers for our badly designed, poorly funded educational system.  Art can be used to teach anything (I will prove this if need be), and finger-paints rock.

But before I delve too deep into that, I wanted to update you all on how things are going with Bill and me.  We met for a second time this week (chapter 2).  He was a complete gentleman and when we talked it was like magic.  Our thoughts were so in sync that often we would finish one another’s sentences.  He would say “in order to really know your kids you need to get to know their” and I would chime in “parents”.  It made us both blush (he has the cutest dimples!).  Then he would tell me about how he would find any way he could think of to meet with those parents, inside or outside of school, whatever it took.  His sense of conviction was quite stirring.  William also opened himself up to me and shared about how he believes that our schools’ system of “deficit based education” needs to stop and that we need to start teaching to our kids strengths.  I had never heard this from him before and I must admit, I couldn’t agree more. *fawn*

*sigh* I think he could be the “one”.

This desire to truly know our kids so we can teach to their strengths brings me back to finger-painting.  My wife is a mental health counselor.  One of her colleagues and a good friend of ours specializes in art therapy counseling.  When we go out to eat and I doodle on the papered tabletops, this friend loves to analyze them, stating that “art is the best purveyor of one’s inner self”.  It truly is a window into the soul. 

I personally think the best way to get to know someone is to push them out of their comfort zone and see how they react.  Nothing does this like a bunch of thick, sticky, smelly, goopy paint on your hands.  The only way to get it off is to pour your heart out onto that poster paper.

You really want to get to know your children?  Those, “living, breathing, squirming, growing, moving, messy, idiosyncratic children”?  Make them finger-paint.

I think Bill would want it that way.

Hair raising worries

So, what's with the video?  It came to be when Joey Mazzarino, a head writer and puppeteer at Sesame Street adopted an little Ethiopian girl.  He and his wife are both white.  As they watched her grow, they noticed a change in her when she started to play with dolls, Barbies in particular.  She would look at the dolls and really want the long, blond hair.  She soon began saying negative things about herself and her hair.

I chose it for a couple of reasons.  First, because the story behind it gives us a great example of the problem we will be facing as educators of multicultural classrooms: that everyday of their lives our kids are unknowingly subjected to white ideology in this country.  On a subconscious level white becomes the norm and non-white kids begin to dislike themselves for who and what they are, rather than celebrating in themselves as they should.  This certainly drags itself into the classroom with the kids and affects how they learn.

Secondly, I felt this week’s reading on race didn’t really give many concrete examples on how to combat the specific issues we will surely face as white teachers educating in an increasingly culturally diverse system.  “Understanding the cultures of your students” and “continued self-evaluation” are fabulous ideas and I wholly embrace them, but they are all thought and little action.  The advice given all seemed so....ethereal and very Jedi (understand yourself and the cultures of your students, you must).  I guess I just wanted to know some actual ideas on how to grapple with an area that is of concern to me; how do I deal with blatant issues of racism in the classroom.  The readings left me somehow wanting.  So I posted the video, which is the best example of countering harmful ideology and celebrating one's differences that I have seen to date.  I think it is an excellent example of the type of teaching tools we should be using.

If anyone gained more insight from the articles, I would love to know.  Or if you know of some more hard examples of things we can do, I would love to hear of them, read them, see them, or get the links to them.

UPDATE:  Next time I will wait until our class discussion on a topic before posting.  Last night we had a wonderfully presented, lively conversation that covered most of my concerns and included a handy reference sheet to find more information and tips.  Race is a topic I am very passionate about.  Looking forward to continuing the discussion.

I think I have a man-crush on Bill Ayers

It's true, I definitely do.  You know when you first meet someone and you are talking with them and it's like they must have been inside your head at some point because the things they are saying are literally your "things"?  I know right?  Weird.  Well, that's what it's like for me and Bill.

Yes, I am aware that it is very early in our budding relationship and what I am feeling may simply be an infatuation and in the end I could wind up getting hurt, but as with most endeavors of the heart, I think it is a risk worth taking.  Maybe you would understand better if I explained just why I have such feelings for Mr. Ayers.

I have been constructing my thoughts on who I want to be as an educator and how I want to teach for many years.  I have come up with 3 major themes:  1)  Love your kids, 2)  Know yourself and 3)  Know your kids.  My struggle has been turning these "foundations" into practical theories that I could use in the teaching profession.  The ideas were there, I just lacked the words and experience to voice them.  Imagine my surprise when William Ayers seemingly reached into my soul, plucked out my deeply rooted tenets and then proceeded to flesh them out for me.  "Here" he said with a roguish smile, "Let me give you a hand with that."  I must admit, it was a little awkward, as all first conversations with someone you like are, but I couldn't help but feeling as if, "he gets me."  Not to mention he gives eloquent voice to concepts for which I have been unable to find the right words.  Does anyone else feel like this?  Does William "speak" to anyone else in the same way?  (It's okay if he does, were aren't an exclusive item....yet....don't you ruin this for me!)

One of his Teaching Myths struck me as particularly profound and since we never got to it in our class discussion, I thought I would touch briefly on it here.  Myth 10: A good teacher knows what is going on in the classroom.  At first it makes no sense to me.  One would think a good teacher is omniscient, or at least trying to be.  Then I realized his whole point was about seeing from another's perspective, the "using a different lens" theory we were discussing last Monday.  But not simply another lens from your kit as in re-examining your perspective, but literally looking at it from another's point of view.  Your lesson means one thing to you, but what is it from your kids perspective?  One lesson becomes thirty lessons.  It can fail or succeed based on the successful meshing of those views.  As Bill so deliciously puts it: "Classrooms are yeasty places, where an entire group comes together and creates a distinctive and dynamic culture; sometimes things bubble and rise; sometimes they are punched down or killed off."  How on earth I can learn to create an engaging, active classroom in which I can pull together so many different perspectives seems a bewildering task.  So I ask this for us all to think about:  With all these vastly different organic compounds in this "yeast", how can we as teachers make sure this Bread rises?

My son will think I am so hip (if only for a moment).

He'll be all like: "OMG dad! You've been a blogger since I was 2?" Then he'll ask me a bunch of technical questions I won't understand and then inquire about my blogs monetization and the ruse will falter.  For now though, he's little, and I can do no wrong. But enough personal blogging, on with the classwork...