On being an alien

For those of you who don't already know, I am a stay@home dad.  My job during the day is to raise an increasingly precocious two and a half year old little boy.  I am also trying to become an elementary school teacher, a profession commonly associated with females. 

No, nothing is wrong with me.  No, I will not turn in my "man card".  In fact, I think the world would be a far better place if more men were confident enough in themselves to follow their hearts into the k-8 teaching field.  I know you're out there.  Embrace your fear.  Join us in the revolution. *dons Che Guevara beret*

Oh, and there exists nothing more manly on this earth than a good father.

We had a lively discussion tonight on gender.  I could have prattled on all evening.  I love the topic.  Mostly because as I mentioned above, I personally turn several of society's gender norms on their head, and have fun doing it.  I get to have the unique perspective of both the male and the nurturer (and no, I don't have to become a seahorse).  One of the main focal points tonight was for us as educators to take care in preforming the needed self-reflection to avoid bringing our own gender perspectives to bear when viewing our kids.  It is critical that we understand how we feel about and fit into society's gender roles.  But the question was raised as to how we can best do this.  I have a couple of ideas.

I took a Multicultural Communications class earlier this year.  The professor was fond of two sayings:  "Context, context, CONTEXT!" and "Be and alien."  The first reminds us to turn our lens around to that of the people we are involved with, to understand why they are saying what they are saying.  Especially with kids, our contextual, baggage-laden lens may not give us an accurate view of the situation.  Harmless play and normal developmental stages become much more sinister in our adult eyes.

"Being an alien" means to view things as if you have no experience with them, as if you have just arrived here on the planet.  It helps to remove the potential to view different cultures, genders, abilities, etc. from the deficient standpoint that society dictates we should.  I find this especially handy when working with children of various backgrounds, skill levels and physical abilities.  It is very helpful to just let me see the kids for who they are.

These two little reminders/ tricks have served me well.  If while you are volunteering or when we are student teaching you happen to get "stuck", try them out.  I hope they help.