My pantz, zey are on fire

Lately I feel like I am walking around with a miniscule version of Bill Ayers sitting on one shoulder and a little version of Margret Buchmann perched atop the other.  My very own tiny angel and demon, each whispering in my ear. 

As I think of what type of teacher I choose to be and about the issues that lay ahead and how I will deal with them, they speak to me.  Bill shouts things like "weeeeeee!" and "share the love!” while Margret is quick to counter "uh, uh, uh...remember - professionalism".  They travel along with me and provide running commentary on the issues as I begin to "try to save the world", which by the way, is already an exhausting process for me, only after 5 weeks.  No wonder people are still "Waiting for Superman" - he's too tired and beat down from discussing the issues to show up.

MB usually ends up playing the role of the heavy because BA is just too much of a free spirit.  She seems accepting of her "role" (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).  They are really just two sides of the whole, sharing elements of each other.  One is professional via Creativity; the other is creative through Professionalism, sort of Yin and Yang.  I sought their guidance tonight on the way home, again pouring over our recent discussions in my head as my car found its way, somehow, through the dark.

A thought has occurred to me:  By teaching in a manner that emphasizes equality, community, true democracy, love, compassion and empathy; are we failing to prepare our kids for the current world we live in?  Put less eloquently; are we blatantly lying to them?

It seems to me we are trying to teach our kids about the world around them, the ”real world", using idealized techniques that aren't used in common practice on the "outside".  Example:  when my kids want to learn about the issues in our current political system (or social system, or racial system, or gender system) in these United States, I will be using methods based on fairness, equality and community to help my kids learn about corruption, competition and divisiveness.

Obviously we must teach this way because we choose to "see the world for what it can be, rather than what it is", paraphrasing Bill from my right shoulder, and Margret tells me from her opposite perch "that it is in fact in the best interest of the child and therefore based in professionalism", yet I cannot help but feeling like we may be setting them up for a fall.  Be it years down the road, or simply next year in a less progressively taught classroom.

I don't want to betray the trust of my students.  I will choose to teach in this child-centered way we discuss because it is the right thing to do, yet the world works very hard to make a liar out of me.  I feel like it will be difficult to be wholly honest with them without depressing them.  There has to be some ways to do this.  Also, is it too much of a burden for young children to bear to inform them that they are the flag bearers of change and this is why our classroom focuses on ecology, advocacy and democracy?  Those two little gargoyles resting by my ears have gone suddenly silent.  I hope they don't stay that way for too long.