As I teach more and more within my classroom, I am starting to get more and more feedback from my CT. It has all been really positive and helped push me to want to take on more challenges and try new things with our students.
Here is a typical post lesson recap for us (whenever we can find some of that all-precious time): It usually starts with me talking about what I felt went well, and what I noticed that could use some polishing. Then I ask a question or two about what she would normally do when she sees the lesson going a certain way, or how she deals with those little things that pop up. I am usually concerned about one or two things that I noticed, and try to go through my thinking during the lesson, and talk about why I made some of the choices that I did. I know, me over-thinking things, can you believe it?
Case in point: yesterday I was doing some math problems with my kids on their little white boards. They are starting to learn how to add and subtract fractions. Some students really get it already, and some are still a little fuzzy. Two kids in particular are struggling, so I had spent the previous day working with them quite a bit. As I was giving them the problems I would wait a bit for the kids to "show me they were done", and they were ready to present by raising their boards. I so desperately wanted those two kids to raise their boards. The tricky part is if I linger too long to wait for those kids, I lose the other 20 or so. It's a balancing act. As the tasks progressed, I still kept waiting for those two boards to raise. I could see their brains working, but I could also see the eyes of the other kids starting to glaze over. As we came to the last of our questions, I was determined to hold out and let those kids get their thoughts out of their heads, give them that extra time to put the answer onto their board and raise it high.
The seconds seemed to stretch on forever (it's amazing how 30 seconds feels like 25 minutes when standing in front of that board). Finally, a miracle! The boards came up in the air, and a smile came to their faces. I even chose one of them to explain their thinking, and they did so flawlessly. My decision to hold out at the risk of losing some of the kids who were farther ahead seemed justified - I now had a student who previously was in doubt, feeling and thinking of themselves as a mathematician, full of confidence.
But still, I am wracked with guilt that the kids who understood the math had to wait an extra ten seconds. I feel like I have let them down. This is when my CT chuckles and says "Huh, I thought that went really well - you gave ______ a chance to show her classmates what she knows. She seemed excited, that was great. But you know what you could do? You can write some difficult 'challenge problems' over on the side of the board for those kids who want the extra work - that'll keep them busy while we let the kids who need the extra time work through the math". Genius, pure genius. She always seems to have the most simple, perfect solution for my concerns ready and waiting for me.
I guess this is my long way of saying that the best feedback I get from my CT is the acknowledgement that I am noticing the right things and making sound choices. I am seeing the tricky areas that I'm not so sure about and am not afraid to admit I don't think something was working. I appreciate that she is eager to share her ideas on how I could get those sticky parts unstuck, and how she lets me know that every teacher runs into those same "difficult spots".
The feedback I get allows me to enter each experience with a fearlessness and willingness to try things out; to not be so worried about doing something wrong, but excited to do those things that I think are right.
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